Observations 2006!

Ok i think after a month of being here (feeling like 3 months) i have some different views on life and luxury, and wanted to enlighten the next fellow traveler to this dear country, whoeverso that may be. I think i´ll keep coming back daily and adding new things to the list as i see fit. So let´s go: In no particular order 1) Driving in one´s own lane on the street and or highway, is simply a luxury for sissies. Please do feel free to pass on whatever side needed and drive SIDE by SIDE until the oncoming vehicle forces one of you to jump in front to the right lane. 2) If you are on motorbike, these rules especially apply to you. The down side is, the bigger vehicles beat you out on intersection crossing. 3) Only stop at a STOP sign (PARE like Pah-rrray) if no one else is flying passed you more than 60 miles an hour. 4) Stop LIGHTS are optional as well, unless a cop is there, and looking in that direction, and giving a f$%&k, and feels like putting the pen to the pad. 5) Oh but please where your seatbelt because they ticket very hefty for those but..... 6) If you also are drinking that beer of yours while driving, simply give it to the passenger to sip while being acosted by the officer. 7) Lights on in your apartment are optional, even when you pay to have a generator. Candles are the future for sure. 8) When taking Taxis (Publicos) -that are ´89 Camrys or Sentras- feel free to place 5 strangers on top each of other in the back, and 3 in the front. More if its automatic, which it never is. Just try not to pick the gearshift seat... trust me. 9) Making toast and everything on the same pan is peachy keen. 10) A pound of beef costing less than 4 slices of American cheese. Excellent! Meat for 50 pesos, cheese for 200. Sounds good. 11) Master the art of saying NO with a head nod. Every 5 steps and a motoconcho (biker) wants to ride you somewhere. Psst and Hey will now be your name, and pointing at you will mean " yes you, can i take you ANY where, even though i saw you nod NO to the guy driving 10 feet in front of me, and also NO to the guy 12 feet in front of him". 12) Should you decide to take the motoconcho-taxi, please pay no more than $10 pesos for 5 blocks and $20 pesos for 10 to 20. I´ve met a few that got taken for almost $100 (3.33 US) for like 4 blocks. Including me that 1st time going to San Fran (December Archiveshttp://triflemc.blogspot.com/2005/12/its-been-long-timethe-weekend-rap-up.html). 13) Forget about hot water showers, they went out with the 80´s. Unless your water boiler works, which mine doesn´t. BUT if you are looking to not have children, the temperature is just right. 14) Roosters are the newest thing in alarm clocks.... EXCEPT they don't sound off at sunrise as we were told. It's closer to 2AM every &%%# night! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jan 13th New Editions 15) Did i say Psst and Hey were your new names. Well if you have a head of Locs like i do, your name will actaully be "Hey Rasta", "Rasta-man", or my personal fav "Bob Marley". Expect 5% of the people doing motoconcho to offer you marijuana every few days, hoping you'd buy so they can simply turn around and tell the police and get in good with the cops. 16) Cell phones are more important than rent. If i meet one more person who tells me they are struggling to pay their $4000 peso a moth rent (like $120 USD) and then whip out a $7000 peso cellphone with camera, GPS, MP3 and probably a satellite and laser gun included... i will scream. 17) And when they say "Oh i'm so tired of THIS OLD THING- i need a new one", i also will jump right off of my roof and head first into the pool. 18) If your Black you are Haitiano (Eye-Tee-Ano). Sorry but thats just the way stereotypes go here. Your clothes may peg you as a American if its Hip-Hop-ish. It doesn't help if you speak a few phrases in Creole, like i love to do. The Haitians themselves will not believe that you want to speak that beautiful language, they will tell you you are lying and must be covering up your heritage. If you speak Spanish everyone thinks "Oh, you want to learn Spanish, but you speak Creole and they say Oh you are from here" as if no one could want to simply learn and love the lingua.